Because Why Not?
This morning, well around noon, when I found myself sleeping on the floor and sleeping in for the fourth day in a row I noticed that I wasn’t precisely as tired and hopeless as the other days. I realized “Hey wait a minute…my depressive episode is over I think.” Then casually got up to eat one of my multivitamin gummies.
It’s moments like these that I am grateful for. You know, the ones that no longer keep you a slave to whatever is happening in your brain that all of a sudden shut all the lights off, and all you can get yourself to do is watch The Mindy Project on Netflix and overeat, or forget to eat.
My desire to make art or the art I have always tended to make, paintings and drawings, has diminished recently due to my depression. But I am actually glad about that because it allows me to work on the other creative outlets I enjoy, like writing and photography. I thought why not, after a bunch of horrible and depressed days, why not just start writing a post for the blog that I pay a monthly subscription for but barely use? Not a bad idea. Why not just do it? Oh god, I just quoted Nike. I will say that phrase does hold water, and to me, it’s basically the same as “Why not”.
The “why not” attitude was actually from something I read. There is a pretty well-known self-help book out there called You Are a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero, and she explains that this mentality makes it kind of easier to do the things that scare us. It’s different from saying “What’s the worst that can happen” because there are many possible horrible outcomes to name when asked. In her book, Jen Sincero actually used the phrase “Let me just see what happens”, in a way that accepts the fact that the outcome is unknown, a mystery to be solved, and you are interested to test and just see what happens if you do x,y, or z. This way we are set free from expectations and fears, it’s a playful but brave mindset nonetheless. It allows us to play an active role in our own life too, taking risks and chances all for the heck of seeing what happens.
Obviously, there is an extreme to this mindset, but she and I generally view it regarding goals and dreams. Hopefully, there weren’t too many people who took it as “Let me just see what happens if I do (something illegal or perverted).”
To cut it short, I vote that you try this phrase out on something today. Try and see what would happen if you did that thing you’ve been putting off for so long, or the craft you have never tried, or that place you always wanted to go to but were too anxious to, or putting your personal writings out publicly for the whole world to judge them.
Why not just see what happens?
p.s If you’re reading this and you’re doing really bad, I am sorry and I am sending you hugs and hope. It will pass. Nothing lasts forever and you will get through this. You are not any less for your mental state.
