That Time of The Year
Ahhhh finally it’s summer! No school! Time to have fun.
False.
Summer is not what it used to be. Summer as a college student is quite frankly more busy than the actual school year. Or at least that’s what it feels like. It’s unfortunate that everything matters, each second, each day. Every moment is an opportunity to grow and expand the many facets that are in life. Whether that be friendships, hobbies, passions, careers, fitness, my mind, blah blah, and so on.
It sounds like a lot of pressure, and you’re right, it is. There’s that feeling I am never doing enough. If I slack one day, well the world might as well have blown up. Or the reason why so and so didn’t happen was because of my lack of effort. In the end, reaffirmed that I need to stay more focused or else I will regret it later and feel the way I do about myself now.
It’s funny because even with this mentality, I would think I would be doing wayyyy more, but this mentality combined with my inevitable fluctuating mental health and other random unfortunate events, It’s easy to get thrown off the road and metaphorically smash your head on the ground. Needing to start over and find that rhythm once again. Not to mention also having to work -_-.
That’s where I’m at folks, abandoned the blog, and I’m back with a fresh mind that is ready to try again to keep up with the things I want to do.
I am starting to in some ways really embrace this. This, as in the inconsistencies of life I guess you could say. There will always be something that happens, something that may throw us off schedule, or this realm even. Most times that something is my own mind even. Life is really weird like that, and we can’t control it. It’s hard to accept this and handle it well when all your life you wished for something stable.
I think I have believed in false ways of life, thinking I can have the perfect routine, the perfect day, the perfect week if I just try hard enough. It doesn’t exist, well at least not for me. But as long as you are trying your best, give yourself some grace and know that each effort IS taking you closer to your goals.
Not just monetary goals, but goals that reside in feeling stronger and believing in yourself.
